Part iii

Part ii

Part i

Interim Report - Synopsis

The report was pending for more than one year now. I have to pull up my socks; else I will surely find myself in a soup, answerable to a LOT of people.
So these are the findings of the study. A psychopath’s guidebook for understanding the psychopaths. (Please note that this is the Interim Report. The findings of the study and the conclusion will be provided in the Final Deliverable)

Rambo - Light Another Day !!

And slowly he moves through the hall, almost blinded by the darkness around him.

Dyer Maker playing in the background. (Oh, did I tell ya that I love this song? It will go into my list of all time favorite romantic songs). Well, I shall provide you the lyrics of the same over here. (Click to follow link). Now I did sing “Believe in love” for a girl once over a call, and considering that it was crazy and funny at the same time, I have decided that some lucky lady (make it UNLUCKY - the one who shall commit the mistake of falling in love with me) will be at the receiving end of a scintillating dance performance and a splendid karaoke from “yours truly – signed Anant Puranik, over an awing sunset, some exotic Mexican red wine, and yes, a nice candle light dinner.

Candles??

Yes, and slowly he moved from wall to wall. He had to find the candles.
He remembered he had kept them in the shelf. He searched in vain only to find an ash tray, few pencils and pen, body deodorant, and a marker. The marker almost managed to fool him. His cry of joy faded even before the cry could reach his own ears. Damn!! Never ever clean your house. Especially if you are the kind of person who can spot a Zippo in a heap of clothes or find some or little joy in a mess of Blues, but cannot remember where your mobile or your wallet is when you finish cleaning your very own house.

So he put on his lacerated combat uniform, the night vision gog-gles that he recently bought from subhiksha, his leather boots from red tape that old pals in Delhi had gifted him for his birthday, and black mascara on his face, that would send chills down even Arnold's spine (courtesy – Roomie’s GF AKA Wife). The Rambo was ready. Another endeavor to defy the darkness – The mission was very important and highly classified.

“Like a Stone”

No, he was not “like a stone”. That was the new track playing now by Audioslave. Thought you people would be interested in the playlist too. And yes, I am not going to keep pasting the hyperlink for each song that I mention. Google it yourself!! Yes, it’s an awesome song. That much I can promise.

Beep!! Beep!!

“Be there in 15 minutes. And you better not get late”

Ok!! The message hit Rambo’s head as if he had woken up to find himself in the enemy territory, constantly getting bombarded and hit by enemy firing and shelling. Will Rambo live to see another day? Will he be lucky to enjoy a nice dinner?

And now it’s time for some commercials. :)

Shopkeeper: Oh ho Anant ji , aaiye aaiye.Kaun si wine lena pasand karenge.Ye dekhiye ye..(Someother wine which is not Sula)

Anant: Nahi Nahi ye nahi woh(pointing at Sula)

Shopkeeper: Par aap to woh, purani mehengi wali wine.... (Stammering)

Anant: Leta tha, par jab baat dinner se aage hi na bade, to koi mehengi wali wine kyun le, ye(sula) na le!

Shopkeeper: Man gaye!!

Anant: Kise?

Shopkeeper: Aapki par ki nazar aur sula super, dono ko !!!

Song time:
Sasti sula super,
Sasti sula super,
Mehengi wali kick, sasti sula super se aaye,
Sasti sula super se paise bhi bach bach jaye
Sabki pasand sula super !!

And we are back!!

"sound playing in the background as wee have a flashback )Ab tak aapne dekha kaise hamara Rambo is khatarnak mission par bekhauf chala ja raha hai, ab aage :

And all of a sudden like a bolt of lightning, Our Rambo recollects that he had kept the candles near the shoe rack. End of story

Don’t you guys love happy endings? I do :)

Oh yes, by the way, ever heard of a “Candle Light Bath”? Well if you haven't, ask Rambo.

Make sure you tune in again, same day, same time to see how our Rambo travels to unknown territories for dinner. Till then, Keep smiling and Godspeed.

(Babe I’m Gonna leave ya by the greatest rock band of all times, Led Zeppelin is the next track if you are interested in knowing)

Questions and Answers

Now at a certain stage of your life (make that my life, I don’t want to generalize things here), certain sequence of events occur. Events that leave you look stupid, dumb, happy, hurt, confused, and awkward and in a totally anti-climax way (somewhat taking inspiration from Ghajni – where the whole movie was an anti-climax), leave you pondering over the question that “why do I not ask questions anymore?"

A stage where nothing looks anomalous, even in the “least significant bit” prospect. The outlook towards everything is a bootless task. Probably, it has a lot to do with things getting mundane too.

And probably, it’s because, no amount of explanation and logic and “if’s” and “buts’” even remotely bespeak or solve the hotchpotch that is slowly but alarmingly multiplying in the mind.

Everything looks pre-planned. Propaganda to make sure that every beautiful thought gets mowed down. Only in my case, it’s the thoughts that are left mutilated and snapped and obviously, killed.

So if the following lines “I practice every day to find some clever lines to say, To make the meaning come through, But then I think I'll wait until the evening, gets late And I'm alone with you, The time is right, Your perfume fills my head, The stars get red, And oh the night's so blue, And then I go and spoil it all, By saying something stupid, Like I love you ” of the song “Something stupid” by Frank Sinatra keeps playing over and over in my mind as if the propaganda was to make sure that in the entire record, only these lines were recorded and somehow, the fast forward, stop and eject buttons were disabled, I shouldn’t be surprised and surely not look shocked. Well, after all, it’s just a song. A stupid song!!

It’s stupid; because the world labels it stupid (I am not talking about the song here!!). It’s dumb because I have never made sense (this blog entry stands as a deterrent example. It’s happy, because in spite of what I may write and what I am supposed to do, I end up defying all the logics and what people call as “sensible”. It makes me happy because, I feel it is the only way I can reciprocate to the plans of destiny that has been written down for me. It hurts because, it’s futile. It is like I have been asked to find a corner in a circular room. I could have used the term “finding needle in a hay stack”, but considering how tenacious I am, I may end up finding the needle. Stubbornness runs in my blood. It is confusing, because I always end up asking myself the same question when I find myself on the start line again after running a marathon “Is it really worth it?”. It’s confusing because, I feel that I am so stoned to realize that I have been running the same race again and again and everybody else has already left the stadium. It’s awkward, because if I was the only one who was enduring these feelings, things would have stopped looking stupid, people would have stopped labeling it dumb, it wouldn’t look confusing anymore. And, I cannot really use the “happy” aspect over here to complete the flow.

“To do or not to do” and “who cares even if I do or I don’t do” are the songs that I have recently composed. One follows the other, making sure that the chronology is observed.

Maybe someday, I will publish them. Maybe I will become rich. Maybe I will do things that are not pre-planned. Maybe there won’t be any propaganda anymore.
The wind, the night, the drive, and me in that picture in a corner somewhere. Who knows, there maybe you in that picture too. (relax!!)

So here is the irony: “Why don’t I ask questions anymore?”

Bamboo tree

Part 1 ♫ There was a bamboo tree, And the bamboo tree was not me, They cut the tree and called it grass, Still the grass was not me, They tried to roll the grass into a paper, The rolled paper was not me, They lit the paper and took the smoke, Smoke was not me, Smoke hit my head, The poem was me!!

Part 2. ♫ “Pick your bottles and run to the fete!!!”,

i said pick your bottles and run to the fete..
tell the girls that i am a creep,
Steal the love and hang out with the beast..

pick your bottle and run to the fete..
rest your bum and sit on a seat,
listen to the guitar and the drum beats..
pick your bottle and run to the fete..

kill a lover, and send me the pics,
shed a tear as the clock ticks,

pick a bottle and run to a funeral,
the general is burying his only daughter..
play the carol, play the old act, la la la la la la la la

pick your bottle, hick, hick, and run to the ,,,DAMN !!!