Hallucinogenic

Two roads?? there were more than two roads i guess when it all started, and i had to choose one of them, and so i did.
After travelling a while, i realized it was not healing the wounds and the destination was far out of sight.
Besides, people always advise, i mean your well wishers always advise to pick the path that will lead you to your destination where you can find yourself. The road that leads you to your destiny. Where happines awaits you with arms wide open.
well, everyday i get up and everday it is something new. The mirror is hallucinating. now why blame the mirror !! ( i should probably clean it more often) everyday i thought ,,maybe,,probably,,,maybe..!! The face is the same, but the reflection in the mirror keeps changing.
and so i went back all the way, back to the crossroad, and started walking on a new road.
Sadly, there was nothing like "the road not taken" or "the road less travelled" for me. It looked all the same. It still does.
Everything is hallucinogenic. Mystic.
A moment passes by and i feel i have found myself. The realization dies when another moment happens to pass by.
So, am i to blame myself for the confusion? for the hallucination? (lets avoid these questions, because you can't really blame yourself for the fault of others. Now can ya ? I tried doing it, and it did answer a few questions, but the restlessness never went, coz you know deep inside, it was never you in the first place)
These irrational thoughts and these obscure feelings...its like i am constantly drugged. On a constant high!!
i enjoy this feeling of uncertainity. Atleast i am not cheating myself. Trying to create these fictitious walls around me, faking my own identity. Making my ground and pushing others over the dge.
I am happy that i don't live in guilt. Sadly, i can sense nothing but gulit all around me. Perfect people with their deceptive faces.
And i don't have to pay for their sins. And if i travel and the road leads me to a place where i don't want to be, i might as well walk all the way back to the crossroad and chose a new road.
A little more vigilance may pay well in the longer run though.

RIP

Staring at 42.
42 messages. 42 conversations. 42 stories. 42 puzzles. Each different and yet same. Each same and yet different.
42 it is.
42: " Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything." - The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. 42 Questions to all the answers of life - me!!
A single click of mouse and everything gets deleted from the RAM of my life. My brain caching all that it can, probably to reminisce these 42 if ever i plan to walk that line again in ma mind.
Probably a revisit before i direct the 42 to the trash and remove it from the trash permanently. Probably not.
42 lies embracing a single truth? Or a wrong dimension. A delusion!!!
Staring.

Escape

"A path to innovation and a path to destruction, bound by the same chains of human limitations."

Limitations of need, desire, happiness, pain, suffering and existence.

Who defines these limitations? Who defines the right and the wrong? The good from the bad, the true from the false, the YOU from the ME.

We all make mistakes. That's how we have been crafted and made. To err, to fall, to suffer. We all, at some point of time in our lives have woken up at nights due to bad dreams. Dreams - They reflect the conscience in a peculiar manner that often goes unnoticed.

We have lied and we have cheated. We have broken a few hearts and we have been heart broken. We have betrayed and tasted the bitter experience when someone doesn't live up to our expectations. We have broken a few promises too. We have laughed and we have cried. Sometimes the smiles and tears have gone unnoticed. The cycle of life takes us to myriad places, eventhough we haven't moved an inch. We have been blamed and have taken the blames also. We have been the transmitter and we have been the receiver.

And yet,

We all have risen from the ashes, to condemn our actions of the past, to correct our mistakes, to fly again, to search for happiness and to mince the pain. The path we choose undermines who we are. The path that differentiates the YOU from the ME.

Mortal lives, Immortal thoughts.

And before the words get entangled and before you shun this as "OBSCURE"!

In a nutshell, your inner happiness and the path you follow differentiates the right from the wrong, the good from the bad and the YOU from the ME.

You may hurt a thousand people and you may betray a thousand more. But, never cheat yourself and more importantly never cheat your heart. "Ironically, it's harder to forgive self than to forgive others."

Learn to know what you want. Learn to read what you desire. Learn to mark the path that will make you a hero or a villain.

Moments in life can be weird, ruthless, funny and generous. Often, the greatest kings, the scientists, the accomplishers have been all alone, especially when they needed to share their happiness and success.

So in this pursuit for happiness, play well. Choose your path well.

Remember, Life is what we want it to be. "WE"

Empathy and Sympathy are two faces of the same coin. You may get through as a winner at the end of the day and you may look back and absolve your past based on your present. Your state of mind will always determine how you look back at the past. Your success is as relative as everything else in this life. It is as relative as our existence. It will either comprehend your happiness or increase the hurting. A single moment of truth, a moment of realization is enough to break a million fake smiles and a hollow world that you portray to the world. Stay clear. Choose your path well.

And in the end, the only one who will be answerable to our actions, our choices, our decisions is "US". The sooner we realize this, the sooner we can escape.

The Hermit Crab

“You have started working like an ASS!!” – Sita, Ritika
“kya hogaya hai tujhe, kya tha, kya ban gaya hai” – Harsha
“Bhai, Itni raat ko bhi office mein” Dhanno Bhai
“tujhe subah 7 baje ghar se nikalte hue dekhta hun and raat ko 11 baje wapas aate hue, bas that’s all I have known u since the past one month” – New roomie (A Bong, yet again, but not even .1% cool as my ex roomie, Joy A.K.A Saikat (yes, saikat is a name))
I usually ignore such statements and simply choose to address myself as a workaholic. So yesterday while walking back to my house (I choose to call it a house and not a home), karaoke’ing some nice classic rock songs, I felt schizoid. I know it’s nothing to be proud of.

“Connected to the world through so many means and yet in a way disconnected.”

Feeling Schizoid.
I have let myself go.

I think the time is not right, but I will hang on,
I will fight it out; I will hold the line.

Enjoying the solitude, the space that I have created for myself;
I am by my own, the demons giving me some company;

Yet, the day is really long; the night sometimes refuses to pass by;
But like everybody, sometimes, in pursuit..

The hurt hasn’t gone, though the tears have dried away,
Shattered dreams, I face whatever is coming my way

Sometimes, I need a helping hand;
A shoulder to rest on, a tender kiss, a warm touch to make the tiredness run away, and I look at myself,
I feel that sometimes, maybe sometimes..

Reminiscing old friends, the lost smile, that serene touch;
Those improbable moments, improbable wishes;

And now there are desires, mutated and cloned; wishing someone may undo it all;
In search; maybe sometimes..

All I had back then was my world
All I languish for is my own world.

The H93 Way !!!

Hey satya, CTRL c + CTRL V'ing the post from your blogsite, without your permission. I thought i would correct all the spelling mistakes and other errors,,,but then i realised, you wrote this when we all were drunk like a skunk!! (did we manage to get up before 3 PM next day??))
Sue me if you want to. Like i care!! :P
H 93
H 93 is a place i find myself lonely,
It's a place i have been amongst company,
It's a place where i have tried my best for my dreams,
It's a place where this story begins.

It's a story of seven guys,
One is a super cool guy called Anant,
The man himself is duly loved by the opposite sex,
Yet he is lonely for the real one.

The 2nd guy is Kundan,
Who is perhaps the most introvert,Y
ou have to see him when he is drunk one night,
Yet you would see him completely sober the next day.

The 3rd guy is Mishra,
The child of all the flat,
The guy who brought all the flat to smiles,
He is the best in lighting cigarettes and yet he doesn't smoke.

The 4th guy is Dhanno,
The guy who is super serious,
Yet he wears Super man T shirt.
And I miss him because he was a pure joy when completely drunk.

The 5th Guy is Harsha,
The guy who wakes up till 7 am.
Yet he is fresh enough to attend the office next day at 2 pm,
He is a great guy.

The two new guys r Ritesh and Deo,
Deo laughs so loudly he doesnt need a loudspeaker,
Ritesh is a cute guy who is very innocent,
Both Deo and ritesh would make kundan and mishra very happy.(PUN INTENDED),,

The 7th Guy is Saumil,
He is full of dreams,
and yet is a daysleeper,
a budding entrepreneur,
he is a hopeless victim of love
Still manages to carry the innocence of a child,

Abt me,
I am just a journey man,
I sign off by signing,
H 93 rocks.
- Satya

RACE!!!!

go 14 back,
Standing at the back,
unnoticed in the eyes of people,
Growing up was so easy, i loved the lil kid in me.
i didn't try to undesrtand me, nobody tried to understand me..
that night was a dream.
go 10 back..
new in the race and eager to plant ma feet...
life was a report card and a 100m race..
my collection of comics and a few lovely face.
rock, roses and serendipity..
That night was a dream..
Rewind..
go 2' back
running for a job and running for a degree..
clicking loads of snaps..making P.R.O.M.I.S.E.S...
it was difficult to leave..and that night was yet a dream..
go 1 back..
running high on cash, running on sweet success and life's irony..
a few steps back lost ma frens, love and so many memories..
Now,
sitting in the front,
high and intoxicated...
a thousand eyes..
growing up is so difficult, i hate the devil in me..
complicated life and a complicated me..
Tonight..there ain't no dream....

RAIN --- Rejuvenate ; RAIN --- Dig in Sorrow

RAIN …The noise, the smell, the scene....

Sitting next to the windows and staring at the rain, Mr buddy is lost as usual in his own world,,

The sand stretches as far as he can see..and nothing else is visible...

An eagle in the blue sky with its wings spread..Mr. Buddy doesn't feel the same..

A snail trying to reach the shore, waiting for the water to carry it back to the ocean..Mr. Buddy is confused...

A kid waiting for his dad to come and pick him up from school...its been quite some time since the last bell rang..Mr. Buddy >> WHAT?? now where is this heading..

A soldier stranded in the enemy territory, wounded..with hopes zeroing down..and with nothing else but memories to keep him company ..Mr. Buddy says >> No Comments..

It starts raining heavily now..A real heavy downpour!!

Don't really know the exact word for the situation..but Mr Buddy can feel some pulses pass through him..right from his toe to his head..He is fighting the urge inside him, a part in him dragging him out ..out of his home to the rain outside..and a part inside him stopping him and asking him to continue with his random thoughts( day dreaming..) and telling him that he shud keep away from the rain..

for a moment he gets up, and in the very next moment he is relaxing back in the bed staring at the drops of rain as they fall on the earth..

Rain drops >>THOSE LITTLE PEARLS >> they look beautiful, each one falling from the clouds, through the sky, creating ripples and music as they fall on this thirsty earth..

the music they create is sweet to some ears and pain and agony to the others..its good time's for some, a time that promises a good harvest, good returns and for some it brings death, destruction and pain..

Mr. Buddy is lost in translation..his eyes fixed on the circles, the innumerable circles that these drops make when they hit the earth..

A moment manages to stay fixed for quite some time...a lot more than other things in Buddy's life..

The first drop falls on his eyes, the next on his forehead and in a few more seconds, Buddy is drenched in water,..

This time the rain drops are taking a lil more time to reach the earth...

and as these rain drops traverse his face from the forehead to his chin, the rain drops take along with them a few more drops, that go unnoticed in the eyes of eveyone, all excpet Mr. Buddy and the rain!!!