Hallucinogenic

Two roads?? there were more than two roads i guess when it all started, and i had to choose one of them, and so i did.
After travelling a while, i realized it was not healing the wounds and the destination was far out of sight.
Besides, people always advise, i mean your well wishers always advise to pick the path that will lead you to your destination where you can find yourself. The road that leads you to your destiny. Where happines awaits you with arms wide open.
well, everyday i get up and everday it is something new. The mirror is hallucinating. now why blame the mirror !! ( i should probably clean it more often) everyday i thought ,,maybe,,probably,,,maybe..!! The face is the same, but the reflection in the mirror keeps changing.
and so i went back all the way, back to the crossroad, and started walking on a new road.
Sadly, there was nothing like "the road not taken" or "the road less travelled" for me. It looked all the same. It still does.
Everything is hallucinogenic. Mystic.
A moment passes by and i feel i have found myself. The realization dies when another moment happens to pass by.
So, am i to blame myself for the confusion? for the hallucination? (lets avoid these questions, because you can't really blame yourself for the fault of others. Now can ya ? I tried doing it, and it did answer a few questions, but the restlessness never went, coz you know deep inside, it was never you in the first place)
These irrational thoughts and these obscure feelings...its like i am constantly drugged. On a constant high!!
i enjoy this feeling of uncertainity. Atleast i am not cheating myself. Trying to create these fictitious walls around me, faking my own identity. Making my ground and pushing others over the dge.
I am happy that i don't live in guilt. Sadly, i can sense nothing but gulit all around me. Perfect people with their deceptive faces.
And i don't have to pay for their sins. And if i travel and the road leads me to a place where i don't want to be, i might as well walk all the way back to the crossroad and chose a new road.
A little more vigilance may pay well in the longer run though.