A “Lost and Frustrated Inc.” production

“A trip to Chennai “is a tale of two poor souls (me and Ashish Jogi) that may go on to become a full fledged movie in the near future.  So keep your eyes and ears wide open for you may see posters and hear a sweet voice on the radio or television announce “This summer, coming soon to a theatre near you, a twisted tale of two guys and their ordeals in the city of Chennai. “ Book your tickets today!!

Scene 1: A horribly scanned image of an examination form put up on the notice board of “Mumbai Patent office” is getting circulated on the internet. Mr. Jogi sees a perfect opportunity to put to practice the humongous amount of knowledge he has gained while working in the Intellectual Property domain. A sense of pride already feeling inside him, he forwards the examination form to me.

Scene 2: As I post the demand draft, I say to myself…lets crack this one. A halo has appeared over me by now. I feel this strange sensation running in me. Initially I presumed it was a burst of gas in my stomach.  However, the force was much lower than the bile juices create in my stomach.  I knew I had a herculean task at my hand.  I have always loved challenges.  Be it squeezing the entire tooth paste in less than 15 seconds in my mouth or filling the tube again with the paste. (Of course this one doesn’t come with a timeline).

Scene 3: Like two brothers who have been separated at birth and go on to become enemies, there is a showdown between Jogi and me. Unspoken words are heard and looks that could make a small boy pee in his pants are exchanged.   The electricity in the air is so high that Jogi receives the first shock. - FLU!! I can sense a conspiracy in the sickness. Maybe, just maybe he wanted to take a day off and really study. I felt sick in my stomach. My head started hurting and I could count birds and stars and cigarette butts around my head. I felt nauseated. I felt that I had been outsmarted. Totally Outplayed!! Beaten without even getting a chance to play my first shot or get my feet touch the ball. I decided that I had to do something and do it quick. I decided to take the next day off from work.

Scene 4: My cousin gave me a surprise. This was not helping. I could not study for more than 4 hours. A law book that needed at least one week of dedicated attention and study got just 4 hours from my side. I said to myself “Think quickly or be dead”. There was no turning back.

Scene 5: I concentrated hard and reinforced the halo over myself. I could not mess this up. I could hear the soundtrack from “The good, the bad and the Ugly” as I saw Jogi coming towards me. He had a wicked smile on his face.  Aah !! I thought!! One word from him about his preparation and I was going to fall.  Helplessly I waited..I felt heavy..and the extra flabs and tires that have appeared on my body were not helping.  I rest my head on the Guillotine..waiting for him to come and hand me the final blow..

Scene 6: 10 PM. Bangalore Bus Stand and we both were concentrating hard on the bible “The Indian Patent act and Rules – Amended 2005”. I had escaped the execution.  He had not studied and I realized that we both were sailing in the same pool of shit.  The flash light from Nokia 1100 and the electric bulbs of 40 W located at ever 100 mts in the bus stand were our only hope now. Like osmosis, we exchanged the little bit of knowledge we had gained from the book and from our experience in working in this domain. I could see a halo hovering over his head. The Brothers had reunited. A single moment passed by and the entire world around them was stuck. The lady boarding the bus, the street dog, the hawker selling samosas and chaat, the exhaust from the bus…everyting was frozen. Dead !! They realized how stupid they had been till now. They had to save their “ijjat” now and fight the evil around them.

Scene 7: The bharat-Ram milap did not last for long. The man at the inquiry counter shouted “10.30 PM bus to Chennai on platform number 69.”  They lifted their bags and started walking towards the bus. With dreams in their eyes, they showed the ticket to the conductor. (Sound of glass breaking somewhere in my head). This ticket is for 22^nd Jan and not 23^rd Jan. You should have come here yesterday..said the conductor in a mocking tone. I looked at Jogi ! My eyes almost burnt him. He was completely tanned by my anger.

Scene 8: After doing a lot of “JUGAAD” we had managed to catch a bus at 1 AM to Chennai.  My brain was playing the advertisement for MasterCard time and again…Day off from the office – RS 2000, E-Ticket Booking – Rs 750, Rick to Bus Stand – RS 100, Dinner – Rs 200, booking the ticket for the wrong day – Priceless !!

Scene 9: Macha !! wake up macha !! wake up macha !! “The guy from next seat” was shouting. We were so drunk that we didn’t even realize that the entire bus was empty and that we had reached Chennai. Jogi called up his friend and gave him the glad news that the warriors had arrived.

Scene 10: “Baby Nagar”, near Velachary Main Road (yes thats the name of a place - Baby Nagar!!)– I asked the auto driver. Yes sir, Rs 150. What? Was the reply that came from my mouth. Yes, that is my usual reaction when I find something that is too unbelievable. I often say “What” when I look at myself in the mirror !! (Naah !! Naah !! don’t think that I adore myself!! – So keep your comments to yourself.) “100” was the reply that Jogi gave. After a lot of debate, the war ended with Rs 120 “slaughtered” from our pockets.

Scene 11: We reach the place where we are supposed to stay. We enter the house…only to find ourselves stunned!!! AThe scene freezes...Heavy music playing in the background… scene starts rolling again...There was breakfast ready and waiting for us…my stomach started making weird noise…Just as I was about to eat my first bite..a little girl around 2 years old, came out from the other room…rubbing her sleepy eyes..She showed me what she had written in her slate board...It said – I.N.T.E.R.V.A.L

Please proceed and get your popcorn and coke and people who want to take a leak may go and do so…We shall return soon….