ATTJ – 2009 – Part 1

Round about this time, last year, I had written about my travelling experience to Jabalpur (ATTJ).

The reason for my trip to Jabalpur last year was Saumil’s engagement . The reason this time was Marriage.

Time flies by faster when you want things to slow down a little. Everything seems to be on the fast track. Everything except the train I boarded to reach Jabalpur. I personally feel that the Indian railways should rename the train from Sanghamitra express to BharatDarshan Passenger.

9 AM – Thursday Morning . A Marwadi, a Jain, a Kannadiga and 4 Biharis. Well who could ask for more. That reminds me about the new Murphy’s law. All beautiful girls (can be read as just girls also) will always be seated everywhere except where I am seated (boogie, compartment, blah blah) in a train.

I was dead tired from my last day’s work and had to catch up on a LOT of sleep. Maybe I should bond with the fellow passengers later, I thought. And hoping that dreams would surely treat me better than real life, I slowly relaxed myself.

4 PM – WTH !!! “Bangalore se Patna jane wali, 2295 Sanghamitra express thodi he der mein platform number 7 se ravana hone ke liye taiyar hai” (for those who are wondering why my Hindi Sucks – It’s just a n exact repeat of what I heard). Rubbing my eyes, I get down on the platform and receive my first shock.

CHENNAI !!! Yes the holy, mother of all, suckmitra express was in Chennai !! Yes, from Bangalore to Patna via Chennai !!!

I spent half the day in a train only to reach Chennai !! With a depressed sigh, I ate my lunch. The Marwari guy was the first to break the ice.

With a stupid and irritating smile on his face he asked me “Kya karte hai aap?” – I wanted to avoid him, and thought of coming up with something fancy like “baap ke paas bahut paisa hai, isliye bas bharat dekhne nikal pada, ya chori karta tha, abhi abhi jail se choot kar aa raha hun!!

Engineer aur pseudo lawyer hun !! – came the reply.

Engineer aur lawyer, kaafi padai ki hai, to shaadi ho gayi aapki? He asked !!

“kyun aapki beti ko koi rishta nahi mil raha kya? Was what I wanted to say, but by now his stupid smile was not that irritating after all… so I said, haan, 2 bacche bhi hain !!

Kya baat hai !! kaafi young dikhte hai aap !! he said..

Realizing that this wasn’t going to really help, all I said “Thank you” hoping that this would be the last of this conversation.

Aapki biwi aur bache nahi aaye !! he said.

“aah !! this guy won’t give up, I thought” nahi who…and I picked my phone pretending that someone was calling me.

The next stop was Vijaywada . I called up home !! they were expecting that I must have crossed daund, and would be another 6 to 7 hours from Nagpur !!

Mom was as usual comforting and told me to relax when I told her the story. The train was already running 2 hours late (something to do with trains that start or end in UP or Bihar)

In order to avoid any more silly conversations, I opened the new book, 2 States by ChetanBhagat and started reading it.

Kuch khayenge aap? Meri biwi ne ghar se kaafi kuch bheja hai khaane ke liye – said the marwadi guy.

Ji Nahi, shukriya – I said.

A lot of more interesting things happened when the biharis and the Jain guy also got involved. (but I shall leave that part for another entry). (the kannadiga couldn’t really figure out that I was also a kanadiga !! thanks to my hindi, the long kurta and the kada in my hand.)

Next day, and by 10 AM, 2 States was over. I wonder why he is a bestseller in India. Anyways, that itself is a completely different topic and we shall rest the 2 states case here itself.

The train had crossed Nagpur, and I was feeling hungry !! My stomach had slowly started making weird and funny noises !!

Aap kuch khate ya peete nahi hai kya, the marwadi guy said.

Oh no, not again!!!- I thought !!,

Yeh lejiye, try kariye, bahut badiya hai !! I was too tired to fight back. Besides, the food wasn’t that bad. Infact his wife was a pretty good cook !!

By 12, the Jain and the Marwari had bonded really well. It’s amazing how totally random and strange people in India can unite over so many matters. In politics, from Lalu Prasad, statue’s of Mayawati to Loss of BJP in the recent elections, to religion, detest for Islam, and the spoilt youth of today, the mini skirts, the tight pants, and the live-in relationships.

I found myself being dragged in every conversation. I was getting tired, so started reading catch 22. What an irong I thought !!

Itarsi at 4 PM and Jabalpur at 6.45. In between, there were many a fights between the Ticket checker and the passengers. I kind of felt bad for the TT. He was a tam, and the passengers who were arguing with him were biharis, bhopali’s and allahabadi’s. Neither party could understand what the other party was saying. In the end, the general class ticket holders managed to stay put in the reservation compartment. By the time, Jabalpur came; a single berth was occupied by around 5 to 6 people.

What’s the point of even getting a reservation done ? I thought !!

The journey had been tiring – physically and mentally !! I prayed for better things to follow !!!

They did, and they did in the most amazing manner. If I could rewind the entire journey, I would probably, tag that image of mine when I got down from the train and stepped outside the station – The prey !!!